I wasn’t ready…

Today is another non-post. I hate making these filler-type posts, but when you’re barely functioning it becomes difficult to get anything done. Schoolwork? Barely. Hygiene? By necessity only. Blog posts? Wait…I have a blog? Oh yeah!

Having ideas is a curse and a blessing. Coming up with good ideas is hard for many people. One fear for content creators is running out of content. The reader or audience can tell when content lacks the substance they’re used to receiving from a particular creator. However, running out of ideas isn’t as terrible as having ideas that will never be executed. That’s the category I find myself falling into. For example, Halloween is my favorite holiday by a longshot. But I am struggling to create content. I have ideas but I don’t have time or motivation to execute these ideas. Also, my last post didn’t do so well, and most of my posts were going to be easy Halloween-related headband crafts.

Why? Because I wasn’t ready. I didn’t prep my ideas in September, in fact, my blog was abandoned for most of that month. Here we are, almost half way through the month and I don’t have time (or I’m not making time) to execute my content. I’m sure many, many bloggers can relate. How many of us have posted tags (which, let’s be real, are really filler) in order to get a post up? How many of us have ideas that will never see the light of day? I didn’t want to fall into that category, but here I am, less than a year of making my blog and I’m going nowhere fast.

Once that realization comes about, I have to ask myself a question: Do I continue? Or is blogger not meant for me? Will this become another project in my life that I walked away from too soon? Or am I supposed to walk away? There’s no way to know the answer. But before you say anything, I have no intention of giving up this blog. I did, in fact, pay for a premium plan, so I do owe it to myself to blog for at least another year. I had to post this in order to communicate my feelings.

I don’t have a conclusion for this post. I don’t have a lesson to share. I haven’t learned anything. I’m a person struggling to keep myself together, and by extension, the blog is failing. I wonder if I will pull all this off. I wonder if it will be worth it in the long run. All I know is that having this blog makes me happy, and aside from the money I spent, that’s about all that keeps me going. I hope it’s enough.

-Knurly 


PS: Do you like the new theme/layout/etc? Let me know!

Travel Anxiety – I waited too long

Cover image here (found on Wikipedia)

Hello fellow wannabe full-time travelers, it’s Knurly. Today is a sad story of how I increased my Costa Rica trip’s cost by a hundred dollars, due to an inability to “pull the trigger.” Of course, my new trip time-slot has allowed me to take a Summer II semester course, but that’s not the point of this post. I found an amazing flight from my city to San Jose, round trip for two people, for a total of 730 bucks. However, I waited too long due to some commitment anxiety and I lost my opportunity. In fact, the ticket prices increased so significantly I was sure my trip had been cancelled. Alas, I was able to figure it out. Note: I always figure it out.

Note: I do not watch Riverdale

However, this new cheap flight, which by the way, is costing me about 840 dollars total, has three layovers. Yes, my first trip without any parents will involve a trip with three layovers/change offs, and I’m not even quite sure what an airport gate is, how you find your gate, or even proper airport etiquette. In other words, I’m a mess, please follow my blog. That’s not to mention I’m flying two different airlines: Delta there and Southwest back. It could be worse, and I’m sure seasoned travelers are used to this. I am not.

 

Jean skirt, sneakers, and white ankle socks? Seriously?

Since we’re on the topic of mass anxiety, I am fearful that I am embarking on a cookie-cutter trip. It’s so hard looking at these amazing experiences that other travelers have, because it makes me question if I’m really getting my money’s worth. However, I have restrictions that some other do not have. For example, it’s too expensive for me to rent a car because I’m (not even) 21. Also, this is be my first trip without family. There’s always been another adult around, and they’ve planned the trip. I can rely on them. However, I planned this trip all by myself. I’m the adult now. And regardless of how the trip goes, I’ll learn and get better at planning as time goes on. Besides, seasoned travelers make mistakes. too

We can file this post under several categories: first world problems, overgrown young adult realizes they have to be mature now, and overcoming anxiety. Anyway, there’s a lesson to be learned here: PULL THE TRIGGER – after you plan everything out of course. I can fully understand some of you may have trouble parting with your hard-earned money. In fact, that’s what prevented me from booking my flight to begin with. Your bank account can be replenished, but you can’t enjoy a trip you never went on. That’s what I have to keep telling myself.

-Knurly 

Fat In England: A Travel Diary

*First off I’d like to thank everyone who has followed my blog! I really appreciate it.

Welcome to the first travel diary! I spent over a week in England during the Summer of 2016 (and then a few days in Iceland). It’s scary how long ago that trip was. It was my first “big” trip, spanning roughly two weeks total. I’m almost crying at the fact that this trip will be two years old this summer! Yeek! Where did the time go?

However, I won’t be detailing anything specific in this post, because I feel the title needs some explaining. First of all, it would be a total waste not to blog about my past travel experiences. It’s content I’ve already created! Second, I wasn’t really “fat,” so to speak. However, I was definitely overweight at this point in my life. I had gained 40 pounds my freshman year after losing 15 pounds when my ex dumped me over the summer. It wasn’t a very consistent time in my life for weight. Surely but slowly over the first two semesters I jumped from my lowest to my highest weight.

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Taken less than one month before my trip by a friend

The gain wouldn’t have been as huge of a deal if I had managed to lose some of that weight BEFORE the biggest trip of my life. I didn’t. When I look back on the pictures I took of myself atop a grassy knoll, or next to Stonehenge, I’m simply reminded of how much I weighed. My weight put somewhat of a damper on my happy memories. I remember feeling ugly and insecure.

But let’s make this more positive: I don’t weigh as much anymore. I don’t have to feel guilty about how much I weigh either. Why should my previous weight stop me from remembering how much fun I had while traveling? I think it’s time to scratch off the film of insecurity that’s been plastered on top of my memories.

I want to ask all of you: have you ever gone on a trip or did something else significant in your life before losing weight? Did you regret not losing the weight beforehand? Maybe it was your wedding, or your high school prom. Did you find it difficult to separate the joy of the occasion with the negativity that surrounded it, or do you think it’s important we never forget the reality of our lives? I’d like to know.

-Knurly