I wasn’t ready…

Today is another non-post. I hate making these filler-type posts, but when you’re barely functioning it becomes difficult to get anything done. Schoolwork? Barely. Hygiene? By necessity only. Blog posts? Wait…I have a blog? Oh yeah!

Having ideas is a curse and a blessing. Coming up with good ideas is hard for many people. One fear for content creators is running out of content. The reader or audience can tell when content lacks the substance they’re used to receiving from a particular creator. However, running out of ideas isn’t as terrible as having ideas that will never be executed. That’s the category I find myself falling into. For example, Halloween is my favorite holiday by a longshot. But I am struggling to create content. I have ideas but I don’t have time or motivation to execute these ideas. Also, my last post didn’t do so well, and most of my posts were going to be easy Halloween-related headband crafts.

Why? Because I wasn’t ready. I didn’t prep my ideas in September, in fact, my blog was abandoned for most of that month. Here we are, almost half way through the month and I don’t have time (or I’m not making time) to execute my content. I’m sure many, many bloggers can relate. How many of us have posted tags (which, let’s be real, are really filler) in order to get a post up? How many of us have ideas that will never see the light of day? I didn’t want to fall into that category, but here I am, less than a year of making my blog and I’m going nowhere fast.

Once that realization comes about, I have to ask myself a question: Do I continue? Or is blogger not meant for me? Will this become another project in my life that I walked away from too soon? Or am I supposed to walk away? There’s no way to know the answer. But before you say anything, I have no intention of giving up this blog. I did, in fact, pay for a premium plan, so I do owe it to myself to blog for at least another year. I had to post this in order to communicate my feelings.

I don’t have a conclusion for this post. I don’t have a lesson to share. I haven’t learned anything. I’m a person struggling to keep myself together, and by extension, the blog is failing. I wonder if I will pull all this off. I wonder if it will be worth it in the long run. All I know is that having this blog makes me happy, and aside from the money I spent, that’s about all that keeps me going. I hope it’s enough.

-Knurly 


PS: Do you like the new theme/layout/etc? Let me know!

Travel Diary | I went to La Fortuna waterfall and all I got was this postcard…

Hello wonderful readers! Yes, it may be at least three weeks since I returned from my trip to Costa Rica…but forgive my absence, and I’ll spare you the excuses. It’s time for one of many travel diaries and Costa-Rica related content. 

If you are not aware, La Fortuna waterfall is a popular tourist attraction where visitors can visit the incredible 75 foot cataract and swim in its chilly river. We (myself, and my boyfriend) had not planned on visiting the waterfall, but we had a free day and our shuttle pass (more on that in a later post) would provide us with transportation to the site. There was only one tiny detail that we were unsure about; we had no idea whether or not our belonging would be safe while we swam. As a result, we made the bone-headed decision to not bring our cellphones, cameras, or our wallets. Instead, we brought our pre-installed cameras (or…eyes…whatever the kids are calling them) and enough cash to enter the park.

Before you stop reading – are you still reading? Good. I took the opportunity to disconnect myself from my phone. While traveling, I find it incredibly easy to constantly be holding my phone or camera in front of my face. However, it is better to try and live in the experience rather than record the experience. I thought I’d be doing myself a favor. I was completely wrong.

Wikipedia

I don’t think when people suggest forgoing photos and “living in the moment” they think about how the human mind works. Frankly, it’s easier for me to remember an experience when I’m looking at photos of said experience, rather than trying to pull the thoughts out of my brain. When I’m ninety, am I going to remember the waterfall more or less than everything else that I experienced? Probably not. What I will do is sit around in my levitating wheelchair and reflect on photos of my youth. All I’m going to remember about that damn waterfall is that I didn’t take any photos!

What can be done about the ever-existing struggle between taking photos/videos, and living in the moment? It’s not impossible to find a balance. I’d say the best advice I could give you is to live through an experience first, and then take photos when you’re done.  How many times have you been with a group of people and the second something  occurs, everyone whips out their phone? Maybe take some time to see with your eyes, and then pull the camera. If you’re in a certain location, maybe set aside a specific amount of time to take photos. But don’t forget to take photos! Especially photos of you in the location. I can google La Fortuna Waterfall and see what the cataract looks like, but I can’t go back and take photos of myself there. I have many regrets.

So in short, I went to La Fortuna Waterfall and all I got was this postcard…

-Knurly 

What’s the plan?

I envy people who can see a clear path to their career goals. They know what they want to do, what they need to major in, and what types of jobs and internships they need to obtain. However, my selected career – sorry, dream, doesn’t have such defined limits. Often I find myself hopelessly lost in college, highly unsure if my major will pay off or if it’s simply a giant waste of time.

However, today I’ve finally put together a plan. After getting a 78% on an exam (and crying for an hour, because it’s the lowest grade I’ve ever gotten on any college exam…ever), I decided I needed to re-prioritize for my health and sanity. Cut to a day later, during a couples massage for my two year anniversary: I am finally relaxed enough to start thinking more clearly. What do I really want?

I think the obvious answer is: I don’t want to work in an office! I want to either be self-employed and/or work from home. I’d be willing to settle on going into an office once a week or once a month. It’s 2018 and I’m going into a business-tech field. I should be able to pull that off. There’s also my absolute dream of becoming a successful novelist. Working from home would be a huge advantage if I want to write on the side.

The National Gallery says that Goya recycled this canvas. Whatever was underneath wasn’t worth saving.

It’s amazing, I was lost for months years, trying to find my plan. And yet, it all came together within twenty-four hours. I think I was meant to have a breakdown yesterday, because I got right back up and put everything back together in a new way. It’s like art. I can paint and paint on a canvas but sometimes covering it all up and starting over produces a better result. Of course the layers are still there underneath, and they may peak through, but that’s part of it’s character.

In conclusion, I’ve learned nothing because my teacher emailed the class today saying she is allowing us to retake one of our exams! Hurrah!

Anyway, can you guess what my next post is about? There’s a hint in the post.

Until next time,

Knurly

The shortest post ever…

Hello lovely lovely readers! I am making this uber-quick update post just to mention that one, I am alive, but two, my posts may not be as frequent. It’s simple: I’m taking a six-week online math course and I’m stuck spending all my hours on coursework, and then regular work. My poor blog is taking a backseat for now. Of course, I still have plenty ideas, so don’t hit the unfollow button just yet, it’s just going to take me a little time to adjust to my new schedule.

Stay tuned for googly eye shoes, more tropigoth bullshit and lots of shenanigans.

-Knurly.