I’ll admit, I have somewhat of a fascination with these strange “internet” subculture styles. Sea punk, health goth, tropigoth, and space grunge are all prime examples of these subcultures. They seem to primarily exist on Tumblr and Pinterest boards, with an occasional article about their existence appearing on some major news network, or a popular Hollywood celebrity incorporating the theme into a performance or music video. But surely there’s someone somewhere living a Sea Punk life day-to-day, right? No? Maybe?
Here’s the thing: I LOVE some of these ideas. The phrase “sea punk” excites me, though, I’m not a big fan of the execution. Also, I cannot believe there’s a Wiki for “aesthetics.” People have been labeling clothing styles for…well, a very long time. We don’t necessarily need labels for the way we dress, nor do we need to conform to any label. However, when you’re like me and you’re in love with concepts, these phrases become very exciting. They’re creative, and yes, maybe a bit silly at times. But I really love creating outfits as if they were a costume. In short, it’s fun to play dress up.
OOTD’s seem like an easy type of post, but they’re a bit of a challenge for a terribly unphotogenic person like myself. I probably take (and delete) fifty+ photos before I settle on a few I don’t think are horrible. The really awkward part is taking photos of myself, sometimes in public, especially when my “equipment” consists of an iPhone and propping up said phone on something, hitting the button, running into position, posing, then running back to look at the results, and rinse, repeat, reduce, reuse, recycle…wait a second.
There is no magic, only work. It takes effort to produce photos that are worthy of sharing. Sometimes we still come back empty-handed. Sometimes we have to take said photos in between running around doing errands on a time crunch…and sometimes we practically get caught taking a selfie against the nicely tiled wall of the single-stall bathroom because we forgot to lock the door.
The situation was as follows:
-I was trying to get my laundry done
-My friend was supposed to be picking me up at 3
-It was 2-something
-I realized my body spray perfectly matched the theme of my outfit and snapped a picture
-I realized the tiled background was nice and matched the theme of my outfit
-I propped my phone on the damn sink to take the shot….
And then the door opened. I IMMEDIATELY grabbed everything, as the guy apologized for opening the door, and said “oh no, I was just done. no problem.”
Yes, problem. I didn’t lock the damn door. And this was a laundromat bathroom. Awkward.
I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that I thought this BATHROOM would be a good place to take selfies, the awkwardness, or the fact that I’m admitting all this on the internet. Hmm.
Anyway, stay tuned for Part III: The Tropigoth, in which I’m wearing these damn sunglasses. I wish I could tell you everything else that happened this day, but it’s all person information. Damn, what was I saying – the best stories are the ones we cannot tell? Sounds about right.
They sucked me in! I saw these babies while waking down the street and they are two for 12. I’ve wanted some Octogon sunglasses for a long time. I like the way they look on my face, and not to mention, the blue tint matched my outfit. I also bought a pair in black, but that’s besides the point right now.
I should cue you guys in, I love conceptual pieces of clothings/outfits. I scored this particular dress at a thrift store for no more than 5 bucks. It reminds me of a parachute with all the ropes and zippers. It’s a charcoal blue color, which is just a few shades away from navy blue, my mortal enemy as a black-lover. However, it works well with black, so all is forgiven. Except for these bad photos, because you can’t really see the dress in all it’s glory. I’ve cinched it at the waist but it looks more parachute-y when loose.
“So what’s wrong with these sunglasses,” you’re wondering. Sorry, let me get to that part. After taking these photos I looked at these sunglasses and thought “wow, I am never going to wear these again.” And why would I have any reason to believe otherwise? These are blue and yellow, I wear tons of black and grey. They don’t exactly match the rest of my wardrobe. The title of this post could also be “Knurly buys shit they doesn’t need episode 32634 and one-half.” Does it bother you how I’ve mixed numbers and “one-half?” It should.
Back to me being vain. Since this is my parachute dress, I had to test it’s effectiveness. Unfortunately, I could not get any photos of me jumping (the photographer aka my friend was not willing to jump out of the plane with me) but here’s one of me landing safely:
Skydiving tested, Knurly approved.
Also, shout-out to you if you recognize this place. By the way, never pay for parking here, just cross the bridge and park on the residential streets like I do.
Finally: *really* important question guys, why do vendors with lots of sunglasses always have signs that say “no photos?” Is it because they’re selling knockoff designs or what? Do they not want want people taking a photo wearing the glasses and then not buying them? I wish to know the truth.
Anyway stay tuned for part two where I end up wearing these sunglasses again.
Dress – Thrifted
Bralette – eBay
Shoes – Converse, Burlington Coat Factory
Sunglasses – random store whose name I cannot remember but who cares, because these sunglasses were the only thing that wasn’t overpriced there
Necklace that you can’t see – local store
Hat – also thrifted why do I even bother with these
Whether it be shame, mischief, or illegal activity, many of us have stories we can’t openly admit, especially on the internet. Sure, there’s probably not someone watching us and chances are the cops aren’t really that invested in our lives… *waves high to my assigned NSA agent* there’s nothing more stupid than admitting to a crime via social media.
I want to play a game.
Comment telling me what type of story you can’t tell, using one word for each:
“Illegal” for, obviously, things that might get you arrested if you’re paranoid like me.
“Embarrassing” for, obviously, really embarrassing stories you’d rather forget.
“Scary” for stories that freak you out too much to recall.
“Paranormal” a subcategory of scary, anything paranormal or supernatural that you’d never like to revisit.
“Upsetting” for stories that are too traumatic or depressing.
“Stupid” things that you’ll never admit that you did, because you don’t want anybody to know the depth of your stupidity.
“Friends/family,” basically, your friends or family follow you on social media and somehow keep finding your alternate accounts. Or even worse, your friends parents added you on Facebook.
Obviously, we all have stories that would probably fit into all these categories but I’m talking about the creme of the crop, the worst, the cringiest, the most horrifying. Also, feel free to come up with categories I missed.
I’ll go first: Illegal, embarrassing.
(pretty please, or this post will be really awkward.)
Top, Hat, Backpack: Thrifted; Skirt: Gifted; Converse: Burlington; Necklace: Regal Rose